


ChocoChip VS. Oatmeal

by LifeIsLove_SC



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cookies, Established Relationship, Fluff, Food Porn, Humor, Husbands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 11:39:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11577330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeIsLove_SC/pseuds/LifeIsLove_SC
Summary: Steve and Tony find themselves in an arguement that people all over the world have on a regular basis. You would expect marriage, cheating, kids and stuff, but the two grown men have better things to argue about.





	ChocoChip VS. Oatmeal

Tony dug his hand into the pouch full of luscious cookies. He plopped one into his mouth and moaned, his eyes fluttering closed. So soft, chewy, perfect. He relished the way the tiny pieces of milk chocolate melted on the tip of his tongue and a delightful mix of different varieties of sweetness flooded his mouth.

When he opened his eyes, he found his husband, who had been sitting on the park bench beside him, in a similar position. His head thrown back, eyes closed and a pleasure filled hum leaving his throat. Tony looked distastefully at the bag of light coloured cookies that sat beside his husband.

Steve opened his eyes and smiled when he noticed Tony staring at him.

"See something you like?", Steve asked with a smirk.

"Not really. I'm just curious.", Tony shrugged.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Curious?"

"Yup.", said Tony. "I was just wondering if you're faking that cookie orgasm."

Steve sat up a little straighter from his leisurely pose. "I never fake my orgasms.", he said.

"You don't?", Tony smirked. "But I don't believe that you can orgasm from those tasteless cookies. They're just not.....enough."

"Excuse me?", said Steve, defensively, wrapping his arms around his tiny pouch of cookies. "My oatmeal cookies are the best in the world."

Tony wrinkled his nose at the mention of oatmeal. "They're healthy, Steve."

"No, they aren't." Steve argued. "They've got just as much sugar and butter and calories as your chocolate-chip ones."

"But they're made up of oatmeal! Oatmeal is healthy!", Tony pointed out.

"Fine. Maybe it is healthy.", Steve barely accepted defeat. "But I'm not sure that's a bad thing."

"Healthy means it tastes bad."

"By no means is that true."

"It cannot give you a cookie orgasm, Steve.", Tony narrowed his eyes.

Steve mirrored his action. "When you're healthy, your orgasms are more intense and easy to achieve."

Tony sat up straight in full fight mode. "You need to be stimulated to an orgasm. Those cookies can't do that. No matter how healthy you are."

"Fine.", Steve huffed. "We'll switch. You give me your cookies, I'll give you mine. We'll see if you orgasm from my cookies or I orgasm from yours. Deal?"

"That sounds like a cock-block deal for both of us.", Tony grimaced.

"Fine. Then oatmeal wins.", Steve crossed his hands in front of his chest.

"Ugh, alright.", Tony whined as he stole the bag of oatmeal cookies from Steve.

Tony squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he hurriedly plopped an oatmeal cookie into his mouth and chewed.

Oh wait. He didn't have to.

The cookie was smoothly and lavishly melting in his mouth. He could taste the rich butter, the crunchiness of the oatmeal that made his tastebuds tingle, the mild sweetness of the refined sugar, what slid down Tony's throat was pure heavenly bliss, a masterpiece of confectionary....

"Tony?"

Tony jolted back to consciousness and his immediate surroundings became more clear. His idiot of a husband was grinning like a smug fool.

Tony cleared his throat. "That wasn't so bad.", he said trying to hide his wounded pride.

"Your face the moment the cookie touched your tongue told me all I needed to know.", said Steve, still smiling. "So did you orgasm?"

"I-I.....", Tony was never one to admit defeat in a potential argument. He had had a regular streak of winning every argument he had ever had with Steve. Okay, maybe that last part was a lie, but that didn't mean he was going to give up that easy. Except that he really did have a cookie orgasm from the oatmeal cookie and his smug husband already seemed to know that. "It's your turn now.", Said Tony, quickly diverting the topic and shoving his bag of chocolate-chip cookies into Steve's hands. "Go on. Try them. Don't be shy."

Steve looked at the cookies in the pouch untrustingly. The little brown patches of chocolate that peeked out from the dough made Steve slightly dizzy. Chocolate chip cookies were a sin. They were neither 100% chocolate nor 100% cookie. They were devilish mix of both. Eating them was like doing injustice to both.

"Eat them, Steve.", Tony urged.

"Yeah, yeah.", Steve grumbled and raised a cookie to his mouth.

He gave it one final look of disapproval before chewing down on it.

Well, if he had previously thought that adding bits of chocolate to a cookie was an act of treason, his opinion had just undergone a major change. A burst of overpowering sweetness filled his mouth and he felt instantly light-headed, like a renewed energy filled his veins when the chocolate melted on the tip of his tongue. The chocolate and the butter, sugar and flour of the cookie were perfect partners, mingling in a perfect dance of flavours in Steve's mouth. The milkiness, the chewiness...Steve was being driven insane. Oh Brooklyn. Oh his Childhood. Oh chocolate.

When he opened his eyes again after a good five minutes he found that Tony was wearing the exact smug grin that he had been wearing but a few minutes ago. 

"Someone came really hard.", Tony said in a hushed whisper that could barely be considered appropriate. "What happened, Stevie? Too dazed to understand what I'm saying?", Tony waived a hand in front of Tony's face.

Steve batted Tony's hand away in mock annoyance. He returned Tony's smile. "I can't deny. I'm impressed."

Steve grabbed Tony and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"What do you say to a real orgasm now?", Tony smirked slyly at Steve. 

"I would like that very much."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it ;) I personally prefer chocochip but nothing can go wrong with a little oatmeal in your life.


End file.
